And I thought the ones people made up were funny....

"For the 2003 holiday season, Mattel produced at least seven Barbie Play Sets with a shopping theme. In addition to the one featured on the cover to this book, Let's Grocery Shop! Barbie, were Toy Store Barbie, Sweet Shoppin' Barbie, Shop & Style Fashion Barbie, Beauty Parlor Barbie, Chic Shoe Store Barbie, and Donut Shop Barbie." -from Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood by Susan Linn

Chic Shoe Store Barbie? Let's Grocery Shop Barbie?! Donut Shop Barbie?!! *Insert uncontrollable giggling here*

No, really.

The other day I was watching some sort of doctor show on PBS. They were talking about how great it is that musicians and concert goers are now wearing ear plugs to protect their hearing. Which leaves me with a profound question. Why don't they just turn the fucking volume down?

On a totally unrelated note, when I look at the blurb on the back of a book and the language is described as "hallucinogenic", I don't have any desire to read that book. See, I prefer books that don't make me hallucinate. Thanks anyway.

Humans are weird.

Stupid quote of the day

"Hundreds of buildings were left vacant by the nearly one million residents who have left."

So there were nearly a million people living in just hundreds of houses? Talk about your overcrowding.

(Admittedly, they might have meant larger buildings... how many people does the average apartment complex hold, I wonder.)

Quote of the Day

"There's nothing like being locked away in three psychiatric units and crying in front of most of London to help you lose your inhibitions..." -from Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression by Sally Brampton

I suspect beer is cheaper, though.

Oh my.

"Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire in Hatfield, UK, adds that almost any shared activity is likely to promote interpersonal closeness. 'It doesn't have to be tying up your partner or placing clamps on their nipples, it could be something as simple as cooking a meal together or even doing the housework as a duo,' he says." -from Spanking 'brings couples together'

Humans are seriously weird.

Hee hee.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Frank!

  1. There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting frank.
  2. Fish travel in schools, but whales travel in frank.
  3. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from frank!
  4. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same frank.
  5. It's bad luck to put frank on a bed!
  6. Frankicide is the killing of frank.
  7. American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating frank from each salad served in first class!
  8. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for frank, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life.
  9. Frank is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons!
  10. Banging your head against frank uses 150 calories an hour.
I am interested in - do tell me about

'Nother one

It's supposed to be your life as a film soundtrack.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, Zune, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button



Opening Credits:
"Speak to Me" (Aimee Bayles)
That being the point of the movie, I guess.

Waking Up:
"Build a Levee" (Natalie Merchant)
Ummm... I do usually have a pretty full bladder in the morning.

First Day of School:
"Go to Sea Once More" (Roger McGuinn)
Guess the levee didn't work.

Falling in Love:
"Chincoteague Chick-a-dee" (Jon Shain)
Er- I think I must have missed that scene.

Fight Song:
"A la Mort/Monstra" (The King's Singers)
Think I'll win?

Breaking Up:
"Flowers of Peace" (Pete Seeger and Anne Hills)
I'm glad it ended on a friendly note.

Prom:
"I'm Thinking Tonight of My Blue Eyes" (The Carter Family)
Really I spent the night hanging out in the bathroom because I was sick...

Life:
"Palestrina: Ascendo ad Patrum" (Dennis Keene)
Sounds very uplifting.

Mental Breakdown:
"Nashville" (The Moon Seven Times)
Nashville isn't that bad, is it?

Driving:
"Colossus" (Afro Celt Sound System)
Well, if I did drive, an armored truck sounds like a good choice. A very large armored truck.

Flashback:
"Sold My Soul" (Jill Sobule)
Didn't get much for it either.

Getting Back Together:
"The Mermaids Tears" (Anne Roos)
Now why'd we have to go and ruin a perfectly good break up?

Wedding:
"Morphing Thru Time" (Enigma)
Can't stop long. I'm in a hurry.

Birth of Child:
"Sh'ma Yisrael" (Chorale Mystique)
It's a mitzvah. What can you do?

Final Battle:
"Year of the Dragon" (Kate & Anna McGarrigle)
I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna win.

Death Scene:
"I Was Thinking" (Draiocht)
Yes, let's stop and think about this for a minute.

Funeral Song:
"Percy Sang" (George Mann and Julius Margolin)
Who's Percy again?

Shed Your Skin...

or snagging other people's internet games because I apparently have nothing better to do:

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
"Rave On" (Steeleye Span)
That means 'yes', right?

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Beautiful People" (Melanie)
No self-esteem problems here. Nuh-uh.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Trouble at Home" (Trace Wiren)
Well, really, I don't like much of anything in a guy/girl. So I guess that works... sorta.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Mit den Frau'n auf Du und Du" (Emmerich Kalman and Franz Lehar)
According to Babel Fish this can be directly translated as "With the Frau' n on you and you". *snicker*

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Enchantment" (Wimme)
That sounds kind of cool.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Study War No More" (Joel Mabus)
So far so good.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Soquema (Bulerias)"
Er- I'll ask them again when they're more awake.

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Love is the Answer" (Gandalf)
Awwww...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Northfield/Pass on the Music" (John McCutcheon and Tom Chapin)
I really don't know that much about Northfield... But okay.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Mwashah" (Hamza El Din)
Er- Could you ask me again when I'm more awake?

11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"My True Love's Hair" (Anne Roos)
I'm really not that into hair, to be honest.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Loving Earth" (Jeff Schwartz)
No, no. I've always preferred the idea of being water.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Harry Bail" (Barbara Schutzgruber)
Interesting choice.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Last Song for Mother" (Nanci Griffith)
Oh, dear. That doesn't sound entirely healthy as hobbies go.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Hanacpachap" (Hesperus)
And here I thought it was other people.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Rain" (Dennis Schaecher)
You didn't already know about that, right?

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"True Story" (Kat Eggleston)
Well, yeah. Actually I would kind of like that.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Under My Eyes" (Carol Noonan Band)
I seeee you.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Shed Your Skin" (Indigo Girls)

Stupid quote of the day again...

"People who don't succeed are the ones who give up," she said. "I am not giving up."

Er- I think that should have been "People who give up are the ones who don't succeed."

But, hey, the order of the words doesn't really change the meaning. Right?

Stupid quote of the day...

"He was in a medicine-induced coma as a protective measure, and the medicine was being reduced to see how his organism responded," he said. "That didn’t mean he was going to wake up. He was in shock and that got worse last night, until he stopped responding and entered into cardiac and respiratory failure."

Er- How his organism responded? *blink blink*